I would never see my Grade 4 teacher or my friends again.
Despite leaving everything that day; my friends, my home, my school, the one thing I took away was the realisation of just how much a teacher can impact you in ways you would never imagine nor forget.
It was because of my Grade 4 teacher’s kindness, care, support, attention and laughter that I realised how much I would rely on other teachers in my life to build a foundation of self-worth, value and love.
Life fell apart for me at the beginning of Grade 2 when my parents divorced and my mother, my siblings and I moved into my paternal grandfather’s house.
Immediately my childhood was gone. For three years I was subjected to repeated sexual abuse, beatings, punishment, and absolute control to the point where I was never allowed to play.
My mother, though living under the same large roof, was denied any opportunity to engage with me whatsoever.
I was six years old and without any loving, supportive parents.
Three years later, we moved out of the Horror House and into my maternal grandparents’ place.
Within six months of living there, I was once again subjected to abuse by my maternal grandfather. This would continue for another three years, until the day the abuse burst out of my mouth to a friend living in the same street.
Though the abuse ended, that’s when the complete shutdown from my mother began. My abuse was a lie. I was a lie. I was a disgrace to my family.
I was 13 going on 14 and I was in this world alone, without a single family member to comfort me or help me out of the mess I was in.
I felt like I was freefalling, without a safety net. No one cared. I didn’t matter.
But then I remembered I’d been in this dark place before. When I was six. Alone. Abandoned. On my own. Left to survive as best as I could.
I remembered there was one person who brought light and colour to my otherwise dark and dreary existence. It was my Grade 4 teacher.
Now, six years later, it would be my teachers who would save me, as I was once again in that lonely familiar place, needing someone to sidle up to.
My Year 9 English teacher, just like my Grade 4 teacher, saw something in me - a strength that he not only noticed but made sure I was aware of.
Some days he soaked me in so much praise I’d have given anything to stay in his class all day, just to be reminded that I was good at something.
It was everything I needed to know: someone could see me. Someone could notice something about me that wasn’t bad. It was something I so desperately needed.
Because I needed constant nurturing, I leaned on teachers throughout the rest of my schooling years, just like a normal child would go to their parents for support.
Despite overwhelming emotions and the urge at times to escape forever, teachers were the reason I went to school and stayed in school.
Looking back, I know now I could never have made it through without their consistent care and support.
I am a primary teacher now. I am also a mother. The emergence of trauma-informed practices being slowly woven into our schools across Australia is a welcomed and a vital necessity to improve the lives and outcomes of our most vulnerable students.
We’re learning through neuroscience and evidence-based research that trauma affects a child’s capacity to learn. Trauma affects a child’s ability to relate to others, to take risks, to form relationships and feel safe in the world.
I remember being that little girl in Grade 2. Having just been moved to a new house full of abuse, sitting in my new classroom, with my new teacher, and having no idea what was going on.
The world felt like a blur. Learning was the furthest thing from my mind.
Beyond science, we’re increasingly coming to realise just how much of an impact teachers can have on students’ lives, and not just today, but for many years down the track.
We’re learning how destructive the absence of attachment can be for a child’s whole development and how a teacher’s consistent and nurturing presence has the capacity to change the trajectory of a child’s life, as they did mine.
For all the principles, frameworks, strategies, planning and meetings we dutifully carry out in our earnest to uphold trauma-informed practices, there’s only really one vital thing we need to do with all our students: love them. Show them they matter.
Trauma-informed practices build our children up. They build up their sense of worth and value. When they have this foundation, they can and will change the world.
Teachers make a difference.
Lifeline 13 11 14
beyondblue 1300 224 636
Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800
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