‘It’s time we stepped up and embraced the role of guiding our children’: expert

By Simone-Ellen Keller
Community contribution / May 24, 2024

The recent report from the Education Review Office, which starkly highlights New Zealand’s challenging school behaviours, should serve as a wake-up call. We have essentially handed over the car keys to our children without equipping them with the necessary driving skills, and the consequences are becoming increasingly evident.

Ellis says kids today struggle to understand themselves and often misinterpret their feelings as defining their identity.

The erosion of our traditional values and structures is the root cause of the current challenges.

While empowering our children as individuals is crucial, we must not forget the guiding principles of values, spirituality, and self-awareness that have shaped generations before us.

Without these anchors, our kids lack the necessary tools to navigate their emotions and actions positively. They struggle to understand themselves and often misinterpret their feelings as defining their identity.

The problem extends beyond the classroom. Our educational and social systems promote self-expression but fail to instil corresponding disciplines.

As a result, boundaries become blurred, and children find it challenging to align their behaviours with positive outcomes.

Parents hold a significant key in this scenario. Our upbringing largely influences how we raise our own children, and our emotional responses often dictate our actions.

It’s time for us to step up and embrace the role of guiding our children, even if it means setting boundaries and imposing discipline that might make us feel uncomfortable.

It’s essential for us as adults to better understand our mental processes so that we can respond more effectively to challenging situations.

Unfortunately, parents and teachers frequently lack the skills to manage children’s newfound empowerment.

To address these issues, I propose three critical strategies:

Reintroduction of structured values: families and educators should work together to establish and reinforce core values, providing a consistent behavioural framework for children.
Enhanced self-awareness education: schools must incorporate curricula that focus on self-discovery, emotional intelligence, and healthy expression of feelings.
Creation of new rituals: with traditional religious practices declining, we need to develop new, meaningful rituals that can offer guidance and stability to children.

Ultimately, true freedom and empowerment come from understanding oneself and knowing how to bring out the best within.

It’s time for us to reclaim our values and provide our children with the tools they need to navigate the complexities of life confidently.

Simone-Ellen Keller is a personal transformation strategist and founder of Genius You.